UGH

"Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa) 02/19/2015 at 23:42 • Filed to: None

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IT'S SO 'MURICA

I still love these things. It's like a supersized E46. GM just went "Hey. Hey BMW. Check it out. We took the E46... we took it. Hey, BMW. We took your car... and made it bigger ."

Fuck yeah.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:44

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We made it bigger...and FWD

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 02/19/2015 at 23:45

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America: Because Screw Handling

My citroen won't start > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:46

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I like that a lot

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:47

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I don't know where you're seeing any E46 in it, but damn it's a classy looking car. Especially that butt.

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:47

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I've always had a soft spot for the styling on these.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:48

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I like these way more than any sane 16 year old should.

I think it mostly has to do with the styling because damn these look good in black. I'm sure the Northstar doesn't hurt either. Plus, I just like boaty cars man. Comfy highway cruisers are where it's at.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 02/19/2015 at 23:48

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Not so much styling cues, but the car itself is like an American answer to the German luxobarge.

EDIT: also, the suspension now used in the Camaro and Corvette (and pretty much everything else GM nowadays) was developed on the SeVille STS after 2001

TheHondaBro > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:49

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DAAAAAAAYUUUUM that dip though.

Shift24 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:50

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And made it just as reliable too

Those Northstars are junk, somewhat a good idea but junk

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 02/19/2015 at 23:50

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If you have access to a lift and/or like to do your own wrenching so you can replace the inevitable head gasket and transmission seal there is 0 reason not to own one of these. So nice.

wafflesnfalafel > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:50

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yes - but an excellent fast hwy cruiser. Will comfortably cruise hundreds of highway of miles at 95.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > TheHondaBro 02/19/2015 at 23:51

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Doing a Murdersofa impression

TheHondaBro > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:52

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Nice Honda bro.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Shift24 02/19/2015 at 23:52

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Let's re-phrase that: Those Northstars' head gaskets are junk. And the trans seal (though pretty much any 4T60/65/80e transmission had seal issues). The engine itself is brilliant.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:53

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BMWs are too sporty. I think it's more of a competitor to maybe an E-Class Merc or a Jaaaaag S-Type.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:54

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Doesn't remind me of an E46 at all. A good car? Yeah. But the E46 was well known for handling. The STS was well known for...not handling.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > TheHondaBro 02/19/2015 at 23:54

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Honda JDMSabre. Very rare, made as a promotional tool when Buick was considering entering the Japanese market. Unfortunately they couldn't figure out how to make a kei car have enough body roll.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/19/2015 at 23:55

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Which makes it the PERFECT American version of it. Handling? Fuck it. Torque and body roll.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:56

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I don't follow your logic. How does that make it like a 3-Series BMW?

Textured Soy Protein > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:56

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It looks as much like an E46 as this does.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/19/2015 at 23:57

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Re-re-phrase: (though pretty much any GM 4-speed, no matter transverse or longitudinal had seal issues)

Shift24 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/20/2015 at 00:00

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Sort of the head gaskets do go bad but the main culprit is the head bolts were designed poorly and were too weak so they start to give anywhere from 60k to 120k thus blowing the head gasket

this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/20/2015 at 00:15

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It really says something that there's visible body roll in what look like promotional photos.

BATC42 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/20/2015 at 02:13

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They should have asked Citroën on how to have bodyroll on a small car.

spanfucker retire bitch > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/20/2015 at 07:46

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Yeah, that ridiculous body roll is pretty 'Murican alright.

Your boy, BJR > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/20/2015 at 09:44

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YUCK. Probably the ugliest of the Northstar Caddies. Maybe of the ass end was more Eldorado-like, but I think all caddies should have vertical tails.

That said, I'm pretty sure every caddy tech ever has owned one of these lol.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Textured Soy Protein 02/20/2015 at 10:19

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My point I was trying to make is that the E46 was THE German sedan. Perfect embodiment of Germany. Great engineering, tight handling, adequate but not overbearing power, nice interior, etc.

The STS is THE American sedan. Enormous boat that tries and fails to handle well, stupid amounts of power to the front wheels, ostentatious interior, lots of chrome.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/20/2015 at 10:20

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Because they are both a perfect embodiment of the country they were made in.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/20/2015 at 10:22

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I 'spose so.

Textured Soy Protein > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/20/2015 at 10:40

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Speaking as someone who was old enough to see the commercials for the STS when it came out, GM was pitching the STS as a break from what people had come to expect from Cadillac. More modern styling with less chrome, and they directly compared it against the European & Japanese luxury cars of the time. It was trying (and perhaps failing) to be exactly not what you're talking about.

That's even the very first thing that John Davis says about it on Motorweek.

I mean come on, the Seville went from this:

To this:

LOREM IPSUM > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/20/2015 at 13:18

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Checkmate.

Vicente Esteve > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 02/20/2015 at 13:35

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For some reason, I wanted these to be great cars.